Wednesday, July 6, 2016

My Designer Baby

A friend told me I should write about my birth story. I thought too boring, but people do seem interested when they find out my daughter is a designer baby.  I had her via IUF so she is 100% all mine. So here is her story

When I was a little girl I always dreamed about being a mommy.  I wanted a little boy to play with and a little girl to dress up in pretty clothes and ribbons.  I loved kids.  My first job was as an assistant preschool teacher.  I got to play, nap, and sing silly songs LOL after that I was a nanny for a couple of years, then a secretary in a preschool.  Always something to do with children.   When I was 26 I finally got my dream come true J  I became a mommy to an amazing little boy.  He was perfect in every way, and still is.  Cute as could be, full of mischief, and he listened when I told him no LOL he made parenting easy.  He and I did everything together.  The only bad part was he grew up on me.  When he became a teenager I got the baby fever in the worst way.  I loved my son fiercely but part of me was missing that little girl I had dreamed of.  I would walk through Target and see all these adorable little outfits, and just ache.  At work there were a lot of women who were becoming single mommies.  I was so jealous of them.  I was forty years old and running out of time.  I knew I did not want to share another child with anybody else.  I had more than a decade of terrifying custody battles, and I wanted no chance of that ever happening again.  So I asked around at the hospital I worked at and got the name of doctor in town who specialized in fertility.
Oh my goodness was I nervously scared that first visit.  The doctor took me into his office, sat down behind his big desk, and asked me why I was there.  I laughed and said I wanted a baby girl.  All of a sudden it was real, I had told a doctor, and started the wheels in motion. No turning back at that point.  He and I discussed my medical history, my menses cycle, my previous pregnancy, my age, and risks involved.  After all that I then had to prove I could be a good mom.  I had to have a complete physical to show I was healthy enough.  I had to show financial records to prove I had enough money to raise aa child, LOL I actually had to go see a psychologist to prove I was of sound mind, and knew what I was doing.  It would have been easier and cheaper to just go hook up with a guy LOL not that I would have actually done that, too dangerous.  Anyway, I got all the clearance so was now left with choosing a donor.
That was HARD!!!  I used the California Cryo Bank.  I had no idea where to begin.  I started basic, Caucasian like me.  OK thousands of results. Blue eyes like my son and me, still in the thousands.  I always hated being short, so I plugged in I wanted donor taller than 6 feet. Still in thousands.  I am Irish, Scottish, and English, so plugged those in, yes down to the hundreds LOL I plugged in college educated, blood type, religion, hair color, no cleft chin, CMV status, anything I could think of to get the list down.  Finally, I had it narrowed down to ten donors.  So with those profiles in hand my son, my mom, and I went to dinner and went through them, listing pros and cons of each, until we finally picked the one J you wouldn’t believe how expensive just two tries was going to be.  That is all I could afford since insurance didn’t cover any of this.
I had to take shots!!!  The doctor wanted to make sure I was producing enough eggs, so he prescribed shots.  Silly man said I could give them to myself at home. NOPE NOPE NOPE I got the vials from pharmacy, drove across town to doctor’s office, waited for the nurse to be free, and then had her give me a shot that took all of 10 seconds to administer, then drove all the way back home.  LOL I hate shots.  I also had to monitor my ovulations.  When it happened I had to know so I could go to doctor for implantation.  Finally, one morning the test said it was time, so called doctor, set up time that afternoon, and off I went.  Did not take long, had to lay still for half hour afterwards, then free to go home.  Then waiting and waiting.  The first month did not take L  drats another shot, then waiting for ovulation.  It came so quick that the doctors said it was impossible for me to have ovulated.  I told them test said I had, they said come in and they would do blood test to see.  Yep test was right, I had missed that month’s window. So another shot, and more waiting.  I had one more vial, one more try, so time came and in I went again. I was praying the whole time during procedure, and whole 30 minutes after, shoot pretty much constantly. 
I was so hyper-sensitive to any sign that it might have taken.  I was horribly sick with my first pregnancy, that I was expecting that nausea.  Three weeks went by and still no period. Driving home from work I felt the tiniest twinge of nausea.  My heart started beating so fast.  The next day was my doctor’s appointment for blood pregnancy test.  Too soon for urine test.  I was so scared.  I went in and the tech drew my blood, saying they would get back to me as soon as test came back.  All day long I waited and waited.  By 4pm I was close to tears.  I just knew it hadn’t worked, and they were just putting off telling me bad news.  I finally called office and asked what was going on.  The nurse wasn’t available, and would have to get back to me.  I went into my son’s room so depressed.  Right before 5pm my phone rang, it was doctor’s office.  My hand shook so bad; I was terrified to answer the call for fear of hearing the bad news.  Nervously I said hello, then I hear “Jennifer CONGRATULATIONS!!! You’re pregnant” oh my God I started bawling like a baby.  I was having a baby!!!!  My son just looked at me like I had lost mind LOL
So I had to start taking prenatal vitamins, and watch my diet.  I went and bought a Winnie the Pooh toy from Toys R Us while looking at all the baby stuff.  For nausea I had a ready supply of Zofran and Tums on me at all times.  For the first trimester I went to the fertility clinic, then had to switch to an obstetrician.  I took my records over and had to laugh when I looked at them.  I was termed an elderly OB patient LOL. I guess forty years old was not the norm.  I didn’t care, I was too thrilled.
Five months pregnant and it was time for genetic testing and the ultrasound to tell me if everything was healthy, formed, and gender if I was lucky.  I was lucky because I was having 3D ultrasound.  Ultrasound tech had me relax on the table and then poured the gel on my tummy.  I immediately heard the heartbeat, then I got to see the heart beating.  I was in awe!!!  She showed me the lungs, the spine, the heart, kidneys, brain, each time telling me it all looked good.  Finally, she asked if I wanted to know if boy or girl.  YES!!! Laughing she moved the wand and then said “It’s a girl” of course I started crying.  My dream was finally fully true.  I had my girl to dress in pretty clothes and ribbons.  She printed me 3D pictures of my beautiful little girl to take home and gaze at for the next four months.
My baby then became a Staci Lee.  She is named after my brother whose first name is Stacy, and the Lee is tradition, as well as my son’s nickname.  I was in heaven getting to buy all sorts of cute outfits and nursey items.  I went with Winnie the Pooh for the nursery.  I loved going online to and reading articles about Staci’s development.  Physically pregnancy at forty was miserable, but mentally I was thrilled.  The last three weeks I could barely walk I was so miserable physically.  My blood pressure was going up, so my OB doctor said no more work.  It was July, so no fun going out in heat anyway.  I stayed inside in the air conditioning.  July 30th came and I decided I needed groceries LOL so at 2am son and I went to Walmart to stock up.  I broke down and used the electric wheelchair.  I felt ridiculous in it.
 July 31st at 2:30 I woke up from my nap and decided I needed a shower. I felt a cramp in shower. Hmmmmm I got out, got dressed, and wow another cramp, then another.  I called my mom and asked what she was doing. “just driving around”.  I said “ummmm can you take me to hospital now?” I wasn’t in a lot of pain, just crampy.  By time we got to hospital that all changed!!!  I hurt.  Made it up to maternity floor, they hooked me up, and lo and behold I was well into labor.  For nine months I had been making these nurses promise me drugs when time came. Well it was time, I wanted my drugs!!!  First they had to get IV in me.  Yeah that took forever and six tries to happen, then they had to give me 2 liters of fluid before epidural.  All the time I am having contraction after contraction. Finally, they put epidural in and then check me. It’s time to push!!! WAIT I get 10 minutes of relief and it gets shut off????  That was so not fair.  OK at time I did not know it but things got a bit bad.  My daughter was in a bit of distress, and they had to put oxygen on me and kept insisting I push hard and NOW.  After the fact I found out that she wasn’t in perfect position and that cord was around neck. Glad I didn’t know it at time. So push I did and Staci was born at 6:59 pm. Four hours of labor, and no drugs LOL She was perfect. Big blue eyes, soft wisps of blond hair, 8 lbs. `11 oz., 21 inches long, and so beautiful.  I was enchanted by this amazing gift from heaven. 

That face is too cute!!!

Two months old and so smart already. 

First Birthday

She finally got hair for me to fix LOL
prettiest flower in the garden

Pluto and the Princess

Being Silly at the store

She makes my heart melt

She is going to be seven years old this month, and she still enchants me every day.  I do not see any of the donor in her, except for the height. Oh and the blond hair.  She kept that.  On Facebook I belong to a group of some of the other moms who have children by the same donor as Staci.  As best I can tell, Staci is the oldest.  She has at least 10 younger brothers and sisters. All of them absolutely adorable and blond LOL which is weird cause I thought donor had brown hair listed.  Each child looks just like their mom.  People ask me what will I tell Staci about her dad.  I have no idea.  She hasn’t really shown any interest in subject.  A couple of months ago I showed her a few of the other kid’s pictures, and tried to explain who they were.  She didn’t care LOL she was more interested in her toys.

WOW I did not expect this post to be so long LOL  I also did not expect to tear up remembering parts of it.  As I type this Staci is playing and dancing around the living room, she still is a gift, and one I will cherish forever. OK now she is pretending to be a cat LOL silly girl J

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