Monday, August 22, 2016

Close Because of Love

They melt my heart
When people ask me if I have kids, I say yes I have two.  Then they ask how old are they.  I say my son is twenty-one and my daughter is seven.  Then the same response every time. “Wow! That’s a big age difference” ok sometimes different words are used, but the idea is the same.  They are shocked at the fourteen year age gap. Sometimes they ask if my daughter was a surprise, and I say nope she was totally planned, and she was.  In truth my son was not planned, but he was THE BEST thing that ever happened to me. He inspired me to go to nursing school, and to keep going even when school was hard. He was my reason to never give up.  I adore him, he made being a mom totally fun and easy.  He was smart, cute, mischievous, playful, adventurous, and he did what I told him to!!!  He never argued with me.  He tricked me LOL made parenting a piece of cake.  I always wanted two kids, but after my divorce that wasn’t happening. Then time passed, and my son and I were so close, that bringing another baby into our duo seemed sort of mean in my mind.  He had me all to himself, he got all my attention, he got all the toys, he was my number one priority.  I did not want to take that away from him.  If I had another child right after him I would not have felt that way, he would not have felt threatened (at least in my mind) he would have just had a playmate.  I waited too long though.  It just did not seem right to uproot his life just to have another baby.  I wanted him to have a happy childhood.  It was already full of drama with custody issues, and him having to go back and forth between his dad and me, money was tight, and I was stressed a lot.  Being a single parent was not fun at all.
She was scared, he stayed close :)
So whatever I could do to make his world better I did, I wanted to give him as much of me as a good mom.  For thirteen years he was my best friend.  Then teenage years, and as is totally normal he started pulling away, becoming a grown up. I thought then would be a good time to have another child.  My son no longer needed me 100% he was ready to become his own man.   I, on the other hand, still needed a kid to play with LOL so I talked to him, and explained how he would always be loved, but if he was ok with it I would like to add to the family.  I was not surprised when he said it was fine with him. I told you he was awesome.  He only had two conditions. No diaper duty for him and no Barbies LOL he might have changed a couple of wet diapers in an emergency, but there has never been a Barbie doll in my daughter’s hand LOL.
Helping her pick perfect pumpkin
So that is why the huge age gap. It was so my son could be spoiled as much as possible, and then my daughter could be spoiled.  It has worked out great for us.  I love the age gap, and having two completely different personality kids.  With my son I got to do all sorts of boy activities.  We played with Pokemon, Digimon, Bionicle, and Power Rangers. Disney trips we met the Power Rangers, Winnie the Pooh, and his favorite Lilo & Stitch. Colors were blue and green, foods were no fruits or veggies, only pizza, hot wings, and lots of ketchup LOL he did taekwondo (even was state champion one year) and played video games. With my girl I get to do girly stuff. She likes stuffed animals, My Little Pony, Shopkins, and princesses. Colors are pink and purple, I get to put her in dresses with ribbons or flowers in her long blond hair. Disney trips we met Minnie Mouse, Daisy Duck, and all the princesses. She loves to eat salads and fruits. She also loves swimming and dancing. Where he was quiet and easy going, she is talkative and always wanting to be entertained. They are completely different.
My Heroes

            They get along great, no jealousy or fighting for my attention.  He is very protective of her, and is always buying her little gifts.  I try to make sure he doesn’t see her as a burden on him in any way.  Lately they have been spending more time together.  I think because she is finally able to do stuff he likes.  He will take her to movies or swimming, and they go Pokémon hunting together. They watch funny YouTube videos and play with the cats. She loves to draw him pictures, and just hang out with him. He has even gotten her to like spicy food LOL you have no idea how happy I am to see those two having fun together.  They might be years apart, but they are close because of love.

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