Tuesday, September 20, 2016

It was all worth it :)

It was January 29th, 1995 in Little Rock, Arkansas. It was Superbowl XXIX Sunday.  The San Diego Chargers were playing against the San Francisco 49ers.  My brother is a long time fan of the 49ers so I was going to root for the opposing team to win LOL I had made Digorno's Supreme Pizza for dinner, and had settled onto the fluffy couch to watch the game.  The 49ers beat the Chargers 49-26.  I did not see any of the game because after one bite of the pizza I was making a mad dash to the bathroom.  Oh my goodness I now hate that pizza.  I will never forget that day ever.  That day scared the bejeebers out of me, but it also lit a small spark of awe inside me.  My mind was racing, my pulse was pounding, my stomach was heaving, oh Lord could it be...
          Guess what I went and bought the next day?  Yep, you guess it, a home pregnancy test.  Know what it said?  I'll give you a hint. I sat on the side of the bathtub for an hour alternating between saying "Oh sh*t" and "Oh my God" I had never been so terrified in my twenty-six years. shhhhhhh I was also secretly excited!!!  I had always dreamed of being a mom since I was a wee little girl.  I had no idea what was going to happen, but I had to deal with it because I WAS GOING TO BE A MOM!!!!   LOL before I could just kind of do what I wanted, no real responsibilities, I just had me to consider.  Now I had this precious little life inside of me to consider.   I had to make good choices.  OK so all of that was going on in my mind the first five minutes LOL after that the nausea kicked in and NEVER LET UP!!!  I hated being pregnant.  I was miserable.  I lost 20 lbs the first month from being so sick.  I could smell everything, and everything made me throw up. Pregnancy was supposed to be a wonderful thing, that was BS.  It was awful.  I was not a happy pregnant person.  Lord help the people who aimed to touch my bump LOL
          OK there were a few fun times in the second trimester.  I was not so sick, so I could go baby gear hunting.  I loved baby stuff.  I collected so many baby magazines, learning how to be the best mommy possible.  I bought lots of baby books so I could see just what was going on inside of me.  See this was all back before the internet LOL  I had to physically go to bookstores and Toys R Us to get information and gear. Pinterest and online shopping  were not even a flicker in somebody's mind yet. I even had to park far away from the stores because there was no such awesomeness as stork parking LOL
          Why am I writing this post?  Here comes the reason LOL  On Tuesday, September 19th, I was sitting in my microbiology class when I got a back ache.  Did not think much of it.  Finished finding out what would be on the test Thursday, and then gave my friend a ride home.  Still had that nagging backache though.  Finally got home about 10pm, took five steps towards the house, and BAMM done to the ground I went in pain!. OMG it hurt.  I tried to stand up, but only managed a few crawls towards the house, yelling for my hubby.  He came out, looked at me, and started to panic in a composed manner.  He grabbed my suitcase, and helped me into the car, and then drove like a madman to Baptist Hospital.  A small part of me was disappointed I had not gotten to use the fancy beeper they had given us for this moment LOL  pagers were a new thing back then.  So we get to the hospital, I'm waddling in, and an orderly just looks at us.  He snapped to when my hubs yelled for a wheelchair.  Did I mention IT HURT!!! So off we go to labor and delivery for a horrible night.
            Looking back as a nurse I can see so many things they did not do correctly.  It is a wonder I made it through.  BTW stadol as a pain medication sucks big time.  They gave me that and I could feel everything, yet not move a muscle.  I felt paralized.  They give me that and then tell me it's time to push.  PUSH WHAT!!! I was in la-la-land.  So after 2 million hours (slight exaggeration) at 4:56 am on September 20, 1995 I had the most amazing, fantastic, awesome thing happen.  I gave birth to my son Leland.  Of course I was still loopy, so when they put him in my arms all I could think about was "if I drop him they won't let me take him home" LOL I was so glad when my grandmother showed up. I immediately asked her if she wanted to hold the baby.  She felt honored, I just felt relief that he was safe LOL  After a bit everybody left and we just relaxed in the room.  I remember looking over at my son, laying spread eagle under the warming lamp, like he was catching some rays, and feeling so happy.
          Know what? They let me take him home LOL silly nurses.  Didn't they know I had no clue what I was doing?  I learned though.  I was determined to be the best mommy in the whole world.  My son made it so easy for me.  He was perfect in every way. I did have one scare.  For a bit I wondered if he was deaf.  I would sneak up behind him and say boo!!! No reaction :(  I'd bang pots and pans...NO REACTION!!! I was scared that my baby was living in a silent world, that he would never hear me tell him I loved him.  I shed many tears over that thought.  That is until one night I snuck into his room, a floorboard creaked, and HE WOKE UP!!!  He heard me LOL  the little jerk just didn't care that his mommy was strange and liked to bang pots and pans LOL  so all went back to being perfect.
          He was a cute little imp, at times he made Dennis the Menace seem like an angel in comparison, but he was always so loving that I didn't care.  He grew up way too fast,  Today is his 21st birthday.  I cannot believe it has been 21 years. He made being a mom so easy.  Whenever I felt down, he made me smile.  If I felt like life was too hard, I would look at him and keep going.  He is my rock.  He is a man now, and one I am so very proud of.  He is kind and generous, he looks out for those in need. He is smart (of course LOL I am his mother) and currently in college.  He loves his little sister, and is crazy about his two cats. He's never done drugs, smoked, or drank.  I think I did a great job with him.  So Happy Birthday Leland!!!

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